Search and a Relaunch

Recently, I met a girl at a bar.  Meeting new people is not an unusual occurrence as I tend to talk to everyone all the time so I could just as easily say recently I met this dude near the Gowanus Canal.  In point of fact, the bridge over my favorite Superfund Site was up the other night and a bodega delivery guy and I were both stopped on one side.  We started talking and it turns out his brother works in a piano repair shop and I’m going to buy a guitar from him and I’m getting off topic.

Let’s start over.  Recently, I met a girl at a bar.  I called her afterwards but didn’t hear back until over a week later.  Apparently, she went searching for me on the web and didn’t find a Facebook page but did find this blog.  And she called!  If you couldn’t tell from the exclamation point, I was completely shocked.  So I looked through all 78 posts on this electronic chalkboard of nonsense and tried to figure out what in God’s name prompted her to call.  Was it the three posts about quitting smoking?  Maybe it was the post about getting my ass kicked the morning I tried to get to work early.  I know it wasn’t the post about the two old people I saw walking in front of me one afternoon – that one made very little sense to everyone except for my girlfriend at the time as it was sort of a love note to her.

After an hour or so I gave up trying to figure it out but started looking at the page views and statistics of this grammar Guy Fawkes.  Ready?  My blog has been viewed almost two thousand times.  Two thousand.  Who in the Christ is reading this?  It turns out, there are some commonalities: some people are searching for innovative ways to dust off a desk.  Understandable as the whole, wipe with damp cloth thing can be a bit overwhelming for some.  Some folks are looking for me or any number of my Portuguese doppelgangers.  (Spoiler alert: if you see a tilde over the second “a” in my last name, you’re looking at a different James Guimaraes.  In fact, you’re looking at James Guimarães.)

In any case, I’m not an expert at interpreting web statistics but apparently somebody read this and I’ve been itching to start writing again so here we go with round two.  Hopefully, my current employers won’t mind and my future employers will be as entranced as that girl that one time.