Inside Out

Angelina Jolie is ugly.  Angelina Jolie is beautiful.  Angelina Jolie rides the line between insanely irresistible and mannishly robotic like a pro surfer turning on the crest of a tsunami.  She's like the stinky cheese of women.  The smellier the cheese, the better it tastes.  In fact, I've definitely smelled food and thought it was shit and the other way around.  The Wagon wheel effect.  You know, where the spokes are moving in such a way that it looks like the wheel is turning in the opposite direction of it's true motion.  (You know why that is?  It's because essentially, your eyes are taking twenty-four pictures of the wheel every second.  When the wheel is slowly turning forward, you see the spokes moving in the appropriate direction.  But you can move the wheel so fast that by the time your eyes "take another picture of it," the spokes are slightly behind where they were a 24th of a second ago.  Prego! Wheel turning backwards.)

So Angelina Jolie smells.  Wait, I mean, she's moving so fast that she's ugly.  No, she's a wheel.  Shit.

You've got the hot water so hot that it feels cold.  Your senses are all fucked up.

Glass is a liquid - old stained glass windows are thicker at the bottom then they are at the top.  Go look if you don't believe me.

Try to play too fast without practicing and you'll end up playing slower than if you relax and try not to play fast.

Oh fuck it, you're not even listening anymore.